I Feel Like I’ve Lost Myself — What Now?

Teresa Saunders
Aug 13
3 min read

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, "I don’t even recognise myself anymore"?

It can be a confronting moment. Sometimes it creeps up slowly, the busyness of work, caring for family, navigating challenges…

until one day you realise you’ve been living on autopilot. Other times, it happens after a big life event — a loss, a change in health, a relationship shift, and you feel disconnected from the person you used to be.

If you’re here reading this, I want you to know, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.

🌿 How We “Lose” Ourselves

When we talk about “losing” ourselves, what’s really happening is that life’s noise has drowned out our inner voice. We adapt to stress, responsibilities, and expectations by pushing parts of ourselves aside so we can cope in the moment. Over time, this can lead to

Forgetting what truly makes you feel alive
Saying “yes” when you want to say “no”
Feeling flat or unmotivated, even when nothing’s technically wrong
Struggling to make decisions because you’re not sure what you actually want

It’s not a sign of weakness — it’s simply how the mind and body protect us from overwhelm.

🧠 The Science of Disconnection

Here’s something fascinating. Your subconscious mind processes most of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without you even realising it. When stress or emotional overload hits, your nervous system switches into “protection mode”. It prioritises survival over joy, meaning the part of you that’s creative, adventurous, and expressive can take a back seat.

From the outside, this can look like you’ve “changed” or “lost yourself”. But in reality, those parts of you are still there. They’ve just been hidden for safekeeping.

🌸 The Way Back to You

Reconnecting with yourself isn’t about “fixing” anything — it’s about remembering. Here are some gentle steps you can take

Make Space for Stillness Even five minutes a day to sit quietly, journal, or simply notice your
breathing can help you hear that inner voice again.
Notice What Lights You Up Pay attention to moments when you feel even a spark of excitement or calm. These are clues to what matters to you now (which might be different from five years ago).
Release “Shoulds”The expectations you’ve carried — from others or yourself , might be weighing you down more than you realise. It’s okay to re-evaluate them.
Seek Support Sometimes it’s easier to find your way back with a guide. Holistic therapies, hypnotherapy, or reality coaching can help you reconnect with your authentic self, without needing to relive past hurts.

💛 You Haven’t Really Lost Yourself

I’ve seen it so many times in my work — people who believe they’ve lost themselves completely, only to discover they were still there, waiting under the surface. One client once told me (shared with permission, details changed)

"I thought I had to become someone else to survive. But it turns out, I just had to clear away everything that wasn’t me."

Through gentle subconscious work, they began recognising their own voice again. They started making small choices that felt right for them — and over time, that “spark” returned.

It’s like cleaning a foggy window. You don’t need to replace the glass — you just need to wipe it clear so you can see through it again.

✨ Your Next Step

If any of this resonates, maybe it’s time to explore what’s really going on for you. It doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic overhaul — small shifts can create powerful changes.

That’s why I offer a free clarity call. It’s a chance to talk through what you’re experiencing, where you’d like to be, and whether holistic or subconscious work might help you find your way back to yourself.

📍 You can book yours here: www.teresasaunders.com

You haven’t lost yourself. You’ve just been waiting for the right moment to come home. 🌿