When Anxiety Feels Like It’s Running the Show

Have you ever noticed how your heart races before a big meeting, or how your stomach ties itself in knots when you’re faced with something stressful? That’s your body’s survival system kicking in — what we often call the fight, flight, freeze or fawn response.

This system is ancient. It was designed to keep us safe from very real threats, like a lion jumping out of the bushes. The problem is, in our modern world, the “lion” often looks more like emails, deadlines, relationship pressures, or that feeling of being stretched too thin. And yet, your brain and body don’t always know the difference.

The Four Stress Responses

You may have heard of fight or flight — but there are actually four main ways the body reacts under stress.

⚔️ Fight – Your body gears up to confront the threat. Anger, irritability, or even snapping at loved ones can be signs of this.

🏃 Flight – The urge to escape. This might look like avoidance, procrastination, or constantly feeling restless and on edge.

❄️ Freeze – You shut down. Your mind goes blank, your body feels heavy, and decision-making becomes impossible.

🤝 Fawn – You try to please or appease others to stay safe. This can show up as people-pleasing, saying “yes” when you mean “no,” or putting everyone else’s needs first.

None of these responses are “wrong.” They’re your nervous system trying to protect you. But when they’re switched on too often, life starts to feel exhausting, overwhelming, and disconnected.

What’s Happening in the Brain?

Science tells us that the amygdala — the brain’s alarm system — plays a big role in these stress responses. When it senses danger, real or imagined, it sends signals that flood the body with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.

The rational part of your brain (the prefrontal cortex) often takes a back seat during this process. That’s why it can feel impossible to “think your way out” of anxiety — the subconscious patterns are running the show.

So, What Can Help?

Here’s the hopeful part: while we can’t stop the stress response from existing, we can teach the brain and body healthier ways to respond.

Some gentle, evidence-based tools include

🌿 Breathing techniques – Slow, deep breathing activates the vagus nerve, signalling to your nervous system that you’re safe. This reduces heart rate and helps calm the “alarm bells.”

🌿 Movement – Even a short walk or gentle stretching can help metabolise stress hormones like cortisol, preventing them from building up.

🌿 Grounding practices – Using the senses (e.g., naming five things you see, four you can touch) helps bring you back into the present moment instead of getting lost in “what ifs.”

🌿 Hypnotherapy for subconscious support – This is where I see big shifts with clients. Hypnotherapy works directly with the subconscious mind, the place where so many of these fight, flight, freeze and fawn patterns live. In a safe, guided state (similar to daydreaming), hypnotherapy can help reframe those automatic responses, reduce the intensity of triggers, and create space for new, calmer patterns to emerge.

Clients often describe it as finally getting to the root cause of their anxiety, instead of constantly battling the surface symptoms. It’s not about “snapping out of it” — it’s about gently retraining the mind and body to feel safe again.

🌿 Holistic support – Looking at lifestyle factors like sleep, nutrition, and emotional wellbeing also helps build resilience over time.

A Client Story (Shared with Permission)

One client once told me, “I felt like I was always in survival mode — never really living.” She described snapping at her kids (fight), avoiding important conversations (flight), and then collapsing on the couch in exhaustion (freeze).

Through hypnotherapy sessions, she began to notice the patterns as they were happening. Instead of being swept away by the stress response, she had new tools and subconscious shifts that gave her more choice in how she reacted.

Her words “It feels like I’ve got myself back.”

Everyone’s journey is unique, but stories like this remind me that change is possible when we start working with the subconscious, not against it.

Final Thoughts

If any of this resonates with you — if you’ve found yourself stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn — know this; you’re not broken. Your body is doing what it thinks it needs to do to protect you.

With the right support, you can retrain those patterns, reconnect with yourself, and move from surviving to truly living.

💛 If you’d like to explore how hypnotherapy and holistic approaches could support you, I offer a free clarity call — no pressure, just a safe space to talk.

📍 You can book via my website: www.teresasaunders.com